Disclaimer: Written before lockdown. If you’re a frog in the desert, your number’s already up. That’s before your home gets …
When you live for centuries, you collect a few secrets.
It depends on who you ask.
I dare you to say that to its face.
It even picks a fight with the argonauts.
Did we call it that just to make it feel better?
It might even recognise you! Wait, does that make it worse…?
Do you know how hard it was typing “Haflinger” instead of “Halfinger”?
So much so you can cut yourself on it.
It doesn’t need a mask to hide its secrets.
No, not because it begins with “x”.
No, I haven’t run out of ideas.
…You mean Hollywood lied to us?!
The kittiwake is the seagull that was brought up properly.
The first horse Eohippus looks weird, but then we didn’t look like anything 55 million years ago!
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Ribbon seal: Well that movie wasn’t scary. Ringed seal: What?! I’m white as a pup! I won’t get any sleep …
Wait! Before you spray me for slicing up your roses, there’s something you should know. I know the life of …
We’re teeming with salmon, lush grass, juicy berries, and absolutely no mainland grizzlies. The world’s biggest land predator* deserves no …